Received from Emma at 8.44am
Day 1174. My captors woke me at
5.30am this morning. They have exposed me to a sophisticated torture
method involving persistent whining and the endless repetition of a song about
a builder named Bob. He is the one they call upon to ‘fix’ things.
The younger captor is sleeping, but I’m
afraid to take this opportunity to escape for fear of repercussions from the
authorities.
Later they are taking me to gather
provisions. This may involve stopping at a place they call Costa (or possibly
H+H).
Send word if you can meet me. If you do
not hear from me again, tell my Mother I love her. She is a ‘survivor’
from an earlier regime …. She will understand x
Reply 9.13am
I too have been taken. I was cruelly
dragged from my bed at 5.45am. My captors are waiting for a man they call
‘Postman Pat’ to make a special delivery, and then I am being sent to a
facility known as ‘Little Fishes Soft Play’. I can’t begin to imagine the
subtle methods of torture that they employ there. I am truly terrified.
I will send for you as soon as I have
found means to escape. Stay strong.
I have to go …..They are coming.
Received 9.23am
I fear your treatment is far worse. I have
heard tell of this place called ‘soft play’. The ‘Childminder’ has informed me that I
must attend her house this afternoon for a ‘meet and greet’ with the local
Police service - Code for something sinister I’m sure.
Good luck Comrade.
Sent to Emma 8pm
I have failed in my attempts to escape,
but my captors are becoming sleepy. I will meet you in a ‘safe house’ as soon
as I can. There is one nearby called ‘The Swan.’ We will be looked after there.
I must warn you that my appearance is quite shocking. They have not allowed me
to shower or sleep for days.
If
I don’t make it I will send help in the form of my friend Dr. Vino. He can be
trusted, but it is dangerous for him to stay too long. I pray that you
have made it.
Tee hee!! Love this, you two sound right up my street xx
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteErm ...Whatever I deleted by mistake was bound to have been profound and memorable (NOT!!) ? No idea ...
DeleteHaha, this is brilliant. You and your friend have fab sense's of humour and these texts most really help brighten up a bad day :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
Debbie
www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com
Thank-you! We have been friends since school and her text messages make me laugh so much! Glad they can make other people laugh too :-) Thanks for hosting x
DeleteHaha! Love it! My captors wake we with their needs for food...they instantly wake and want food...mommy doesn't eat til noon. #AnythingGoes
ReplyDeleteOh no they have got to you too.! I will send my dear friend Mr. Cadbury. he will know what to do. x
DeleteBrilliant! I have just escaped from a room quite literally filled with Lego to read this. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
ReplyDeleteAh yes! I am familiar with this technique. The pain of stepping on lego pieces alone can prevent escape. Thanks so much for hosting #FridayFrolics
DeleteHa! Very clever. But very true :) #FridayFrolics
ReplyDeleteThank you x
DeleteHa ha ha, this is brilliant. So true :) I hope Dr Vino made an appearance.. #bigpinklink
ReplyDeletelol This is fab love this - hope you made it out of 'soft play' as this is always rather torturous ! #bigpinklink
ReplyDeleteOh you guys text each other like I do with my friends!! I LOVE it! Day 2007.5. My capture occurred many years ago. I managed well with just one captor, but then she sent for reinforcements. It was then that I realised I was done for. I do have survived trips to softplay on several occasions. We were left sometimes bloody, sometimes bruised, but never defeated. They may have won the battle, but we shall win the WAAAAAARRRRR!!! (With the help of Dr Vino!) Sorry, got a little carried away at the end there, channeling my inner Braveheart!! Thanks so much for linking up with us! #bigpinklink
ReplyDeleteHaaaa. Not at all! Glad someone else shares me sense of drama. :)
Delete*MY not ME obvs :)
Delete