Friday, 18 March 2016

Mum Flu – the symptoms





WHEN WILL IT HIT?
Signs of impending Mum Flu are often missed, but it usually strikes shortly after an illness has immobilised the rest of your family. The symptoms will develop slowly, allowing you to function normally and enabling you to nurse them through the acute sickness that has rendered them incapable of all but the most basic functions. Mum Flu can be expected to attack just at the moment your children regain full energy levels.

APPETITE
In normal cases of influenza, and indeed the far more serious ‘man-flu’, a loss of appetite is to be expected. This is not the case with Mum Flu.  Appetite and an almost pathological craving for sugar will increase and, despite your throat feeling like it is made from razor blades, do not be surprised to find that you eat more than ever.

YOU WILL STILL LOOK EXHAUSTED
Your appearance will not change. You always look tired anyway. It is quite likely that members of your immediate family will probably not notice that you are ill at all.

THE SHIVERS
You may assume it is withdrawal from caffeine that causes these symptoms, but this is your bodies reaction to your body temperature rising. You are ill.

EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS
Expect to feel overwhelmed with self-pity. Do not be surprised if the smallest amount of sympathy that comes your way results in uncontrollable floods of tears. (my apologies to the pharmacist in Boots!)

RECOVERY
You will have exactly 12 minutes from when you first show symptoms of illness to the point at which you will be expected to make a full recovery. Remember, children and husbands have needs that take priority over your own fragile state. You will find this is in your job description.

TREATMENT
A swig of Calpol and a double-dose Berocca should just about get you through until lunchtime … at which point you will have lost the will to live and turned to wine anyway.











Pink Pear Bear
You Baby Me Mummy

11 comments:

  1. Oh yes! Fully agree with everything you written here. I always get ill right after the kids are back to them bouncing selves. Of course my husband is always ill at exactly the same time as the kids so I have two poorly kids to deal with as well as a useless husband. When it's my turn to be ill I just have to neck a cocktail of drugs and grin and bear it life as a mum, eh?

    #effitfriday

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  2. It's all about the self-medication when we get ill! Calpol, tangtastics and hot toddies. What ever it takes you get past the kids bedtime :-)

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    1. Absolutley!! I thought I was the only 'grown up' to be partial to a bag of tangtastics. Haha

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  3. We didn't know how good we had it when we were sick in our lives before kids! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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    1. No we bloody didnt! Thank-you :)

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  4. Ha ha brilliant! All so true.

    #fridayfrolics

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  5. Love this, I am suffering from mum flu at the moment. Duvet days aren't so much fun with a four month old to look after/feed/entertain! #FridayFrolics

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    1. I know! You have my sympathy. Get well soon x

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  6. 12 seconds recovery time? Sounds about right...

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