Dear Board Of Parenting

 

 

Dear Board of Parenting,

 

Having held my current position for 4 years now, I feel the time has come to lodge a formal complaint regarding several aspects of the placement which were misrepresented to me upon my appointment.

The job description was extremely misleading and did not fully reflect the level of domestic duties that would be expected of me. Furthermore, it is my belief that I was not offered sufficient training to support the transition from my previous roles as ‘single’ and ‘living at home with my mother’ into ‘full time parent’.

Upon reflection I am of the opinion that a number of my current duties could be sub-contracted to maximize efficiency in the workplace.

·        Cleaning

·        Food shopping

·        Budgeting

·        Cooking

·        Potty training  

·        Mopping

·        Hoovering

·        Laundry

(It is my view that the last of these actually requires its own full time manager.)

In addition, my ‘uniform’ in no way resembles the ‘Yummy Mummy’ look that I was led to believe would be provided for me as standard.  My basic consignment of one pair of ‘skinny’ jeans, two pairs of black leggings and three Mumsy jumpers, whilst practical, do not match the high levels set by some of my competitors (Mums at the School Gates) 

I have looked at my Nov/Dec budget and, as Christmas has now been cancelled following my Son shouting ‘BUM BUM HEAD’ at a passenger on a bus this morning, funds are available.  I will assume that these can be reallocated to my wardrobe needs?

Finally, there is the issue of lone working during the 12 – 7pm shift, when I often find myself without play group or pre-school support.  Whilst I am aware that there is an On-call back up system if there is an emergency (phone my husband persistently and beg him to come home early), I find this course of action works only in rare circumstances. It is particularly ineffective when I use terminology such as ‘I’ve just had enough’. Apparently there are no policies or procedures currently in place to provide assistance in such a situation?

To end on a positive note I would like to thank you for the ‘Mum of the Month’ award I received after surviving a particularly challenging baking session last week. It was nice to feel valued, despite not having anything edible to show for it.

 

Kind regards Mrs. H

(under-fives division)