My son got home from his first school residential trip last night. While he was away his wobbly tooth, which had steadfastly refused to budge for weeks, had chosen this time to finally come out. Obviously the Tooth Fairy could not possibly be expected to know he was away so he totally understood why she hadn’t left a £1 under his pillow in exchange for the tooth. He wrote her a heartbreakingly gorgeous letter (complete with a drawing showing her where he had been), explaining that it was ok that she hadn’t come before and apologising for losing the tooth on his way home.
Well, she was of course going to visit without fail now he was at home.
At 7am this morning the Tooth Fairy woke with a start and sat bolt upright in her little Fairy bed. Silently she freaked out and tried not to wake the other fairies up. She regretted drinking that wine with her fairy Husband last night. She had forgotten to do something very, very important.
She searched madly through her little purse. Failing to find anything there apart from receipts and fairy dust, she checked her Husband’s wallet, and his trouser pockets, his coat pocket, his shoes and all the other places he left keys and coins. She could not find any change. All she could find was a £20 note. Her Husband looked at her aghast. She flew in to my son’s room and managed to find her beautiful letter, although she did have to dive quite dramatically when he unexpectedly turned over to face her. But bless him, he was still asleep after a few late nights on his trip. She slipped the £20 note under his pillow and flew away back to her fairy bedroom.
The Tooth Fairy could not believe that she had given him a £20 note. I mean, she could not have his heart broken, but £20???! What would this mean for future business arrangements with these children? There was another little boy who lived in that house who hadn’t lost any teeth…yet.
The Global Tooth Fairy Economy couldn’t possibly support such an unprecedented rise in repayments. What would the other Tooth Fairies say when they found out?! They would never speak to her again.
She suddenly remembered a loose change pot in her fairy kitchen. Time was running out. The boy’s brother was up. Could she do it without being seen? She managed to get £2 worth of 20p’s and wrapped them in a napkin. She flew back to the boy’s room and got ‘her’ £20 note back. She JUST got the little napkin bundle under his pillow before he woke. The Tooth Fairy crept out of his bedroom on all fours.
“MUM! The Tooth Fairy has been!!!”
She banged her head on the door frame and managed to fly out the window back to fairyland just in time.
This Tooth Fairy is considering resigning. There is way too much stress in this job. She will talk to her Husband immediately and hand over her wings.